I hate this part of my life…..
I’ve done some permenant solutions to a temporary problem. Actually, at this point. I don’t know if its temporary. Hopefully not, I still have feelings for her and us. And I still have feelings as a real human being. My life has become a mess since that dark day. It feels like a nightmare still. Love hurts but never dies. I totally understand Three Days Grace songs now. “….So many thoughts that I can’t get out of my head. I try to live without you, everytime I do I feel dead. I know whats best for me. But I want you instead. I’ll keep on wasting all my time. Over and Over I fall for you….” I haven’t stopped thinking about her. Sometimes I’ll smile, most times cry. I try really hard to get through this time. It just hurts physically, and emotionally. I haven’t felt this lonely in a long time. Alone and unloved. I’m not trying to get sympathy, I just needed to write everything I felt down before I made a more permanant solution. Tried, just can’t bring myself to do it. But I’m reaching that point. Slowly and slowly. Even Hell couldn’t hurt as much as this. I just hope I forget everything that happend here. Worst part of my life….
